you are a bad plant

i can eat again.

i've been visiting a forum for women with problems like i have and they have a section where people discuss different symptoms they experience and compare notes to determine if the symptom is related to the disease or is something seperate. also, women who are undiagnosed or have idiotic doctors (me) can go there to see if someone else's doctor made more sense. i posted about these digestion problems i've been having and several people wrote back about food intolerances to things like wheat and dairy causing them minor discomfort. i got a little discouraged by that because what i have goes way beyond minor, is so severe in fact that if oftens prevents me from eating at all. plus, it doesn't seem related to any one food or food group.
i finally got a reply from a woman who has symptoms identical to mine and who also has a competent doctor. her doctor diagnosed her as having a damaged pancreas and prescribed pancreatic enzymes to be taken everytime she eats. apparently hormonal imbalances can cause pancreas and galbladder problems because they raise cholesterol and make the immune system turn on the pancreas (i'm not sure the exact mechanics, just that these things are linked). after trying the prilosec that my doctor recommended and having it fail so painfully, i thought it would be worth checking the HEB to see if they sold an over-the-counter pancreatic enzyme supplement. they did. i took it. it worked.

now i have almost no digestive problems, but lots of questions. if these pancreatic enzymes are working for me, does that mean that my pancreas is failing? or is there another reason that pancreatic enzymes would be effective? and if my pancreas is failing, why? is my immune system attacking it, like the woman from the forum's immune system was attacking her's? and if it is doing that, does that mean that i really have the dreaded polycystic ovary syndrome like i suspect i do? will i ever be able to eat without pills again? will i become diabetic? will my galbladder fail, too? and so on and so forth... of course, i don't expect my doctor to do crap about it. she'll probably just be happy that i "solved" the problem myself so she doesn't have to worry about it and be confused about why i would want further testing if i'm not having problems anymore. sometimes i really hate how well i can predict medical behavior. (maybe i should become a Medical Behaviorist and follow doctors, nurses, and the like around with a clipboard and tape recorder to gather data in the name of Science).

in short: (yeah, you could've just skipped to here right away instead of reading all that junk, sorry) i'm overjoyed that i can finally eat again- i haven't eaten without complications since may- but i'm uneasy (maybe terrified) because i can only eat with the aid of a pancreatic enzyme supplement. stay tuned to find out what this indicates and if brak will knock the shit out of her doctor, get a new doctor, or refuse to ever see a doctor again... as the saga continues.... [sappy music]