i went to BLORA yesterday with hayley and john. hayley got really scared of all the other kids there. she didn't want to get in the water at first, but after i dragged her in she had a lot of fun. and then she got real tired. she doesn't like other kids. usually all she'll say to them is "stop looking at hay. or you can't look at me." she hates people staring at her. sometimes people stare because she walks funny, but i tell her they're looking because she's so cute. she still gets all upset. when we go to the grocery store she doesn't even like me to look at her. she'll push my head if i try to turn towards her. i feel gross today. i don't usually get to shower much on weekends and i'm tired. had to go to the HEB last night and there was this really pushy woman behind me in the checkout line. she had no conception of personal space or patience. she kept shoving. i almost slapped her. i really wanted to slap her. hard. and then make her my bitch. i just don't get why people have to be so pushy. she must've flunked kindergarten or something.
Sunday, July 30, 2006
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
everlasting noodles
my toothpaste tastes like pepto bismol! i was reading my history book last night and the first farming people in the americas had religions based on corn. it made me giggle. their entire lives revolved around corn. Corn! it makes sense because without the corn they probably wouldn't be alive, or they'd be on the verge of starvation but ... oh great corn goddess! please bless us and then we'll eat you. tee hee hee. there was this really bizarre paragraph i'd like to share. they're talking about the excavated burial mound of a corn-worshippin' chieftain.
"Near the chieftian's bones were the skeletons of 50 women ranging from 18 to 23 years old, likely sacrifices to the gods. Their bones were genetically different from the the Cahokian skeletons, suggesting that the young women were captives in war or tribute sent by vassal states.
In a pit near these skeletons were those of four men whose heads and hands had been cut off; their necks and vertebrae bore multiple cuts indicating torture or mutilation. Another nearby burial pit included a mass grave. Some skeletons had been decapitated or their skulls smashed; a few of the fingers were in a vertical position, suggesting that the people were not dead at the time of burial and attempted to scratch their way out."
Then it moves right along to talk about their building methods. WTF? I was kind of hoping for an explanation of who these people were. Now I'm left with all these loose ends. Why four men? Why were they tortured? And about this huge pit -who were they? Most history books at least have the decency to speculate. I want to know why those four weren't tossed in with the rest. What makes them so special? And I wanna know if all those chicks were put in there all at once like a thank you for this chief's life and here's 50 girls to follow him to the afterlife or if it was a yearly thing and they'd been there for 50 years. and there's no chance that they'll answer these questions in the next chapter. they just moved right along into europe and then the discovery of the new world. but its a pretty good book nevertheless. guess i'll just be doing some supplemental reading.
hey, i made protein bars! they taste like cake. I was watching this show on the food network and the guy told me all about protein bars. he said that the ones they sell in the store are really bad for you cause they have a lot of sugar and preservatives and the protein comes mostly from cow parts. the unsavory cow parts like hooves and skin and ew. then he showed me how to make my own with soy protein. and they're tasty. yay! i was worried they'd taste like brick or dirt. but nope, cake. i have to go to the store today because i'm out of bottled water. i have running water now so i could drink that, but after 6 months without, i kind of got used to the drinking water in jugs. and i still can't make ice, so i like to keep water in the fridge. and i need some yogurt and stuff to make cookies. i'm going to make those double chocolate diet cookies that i luv so much and maybe they will help me stop eating the brownies. maybe i should start a religion based on brownies. oh, great mother brownie! thank you for my life and now i will eat you.
"Near the chieftian's bones were the skeletons of 50 women ranging from 18 to 23 years old, likely sacrifices to the gods. Their bones were genetically different from the the Cahokian skeletons, suggesting that the young women were captives in war or tribute sent by vassal states.
In a pit near these skeletons were those of four men whose heads and hands had been cut off; their necks and vertebrae bore multiple cuts indicating torture or mutilation. Another nearby burial pit included a mass grave. Some skeletons had been decapitated or their skulls smashed; a few of the fingers were in a vertical position, suggesting that the people were not dead at the time of burial and attempted to scratch their way out."
Then it moves right along to talk about their building methods. WTF? I was kind of hoping for an explanation of who these people were. Now I'm left with all these loose ends. Why four men? Why were they tortured? And about this huge pit -who were they? Most history books at least have the decency to speculate. I want to know why those four weren't tossed in with the rest. What makes them so special? And I wanna know if all those chicks were put in there all at once like a thank you for this chief's life and here's 50 girls to follow him to the afterlife or if it was a yearly thing and they'd been there for 50 years. and there's no chance that they'll answer these questions in the next chapter. they just moved right along into europe and then the discovery of the new world. but its a pretty good book nevertheless. guess i'll just be doing some supplemental reading.
hey, i made protein bars! they taste like cake. I was watching this show on the food network and the guy told me all about protein bars. he said that the ones they sell in the store are really bad for you cause they have a lot of sugar and preservatives and the protein comes mostly from cow parts. the unsavory cow parts like hooves and skin and ew. then he showed me how to make my own with soy protein. and they're tasty. yay! i was worried they'd taste like brick or dirt. but nope, cake. i have to go to the store today because i'm out of bottled water. i have running water now so i could drink that, but after 6 months without, i kind of got used to the drinking water in jugs. and i still can't make ice, so i like to keep water in the fridge. and i need some yogurt and stuff to make cookies. i'm going to make those double chocolate diet cookies that i luv so much and maybe they will help me stop eating the brownies. maybe i should start a religion based on brownies. oh, great mother brownie! thank you for my life and now i will eat you.
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
communist proper gander
I think I may have a cold, but it seems to be manifesting entirely in my sinuses. John just had the same cold and he was all sneezy and coughy for a week. I don't feel so great, but all I get is slight congestion and headaches. That's weird, eh? Maybe it isn't a cold. Maybe a mad scientist has been breaking into my house and injecting me with an experimental virus while I sleep. Well, jokes on him cause it didn't kill me! yet... I visited John at work today and we sat at the duck pond and watched the ducks gettin it on. I feel sorry for male birds because they have no intromittent organ (er.. "weiner") and only one lil internal ball. They have to mate by touching their buttholes together because birds only have one opening. Everything comes out there: poop, eggs, semen, everything. Think about that next time you have scrambled eggies. I do.
Thursday, July 13, 2006
good news
Hayley can now say the longest word in the english language.
antidisestablishmentarianism
Amos has been trying to teach her to say that since before she could talk. The other good news is that I'm getting Karppi for History next semester! Yay!! He's like the blessed Pilsbury Doughboy of Social Sciences. I love him! He is the easiest teacher but yet, I still learn stuff. He gives out a review at the beginning of each unit and all you gotta do is find the answers and memorize them. (Yeah I said unit). I've already started reading my book when I'm not in the gym because I thought I was getting Williams and he's not bad, but he's not Karppi either. I thought about trading my Zoology for Physics but I'm too chicken. I hate it that I don't understand things like cosmic strings and that whole movement vantage point thingy. I think I'm going to get Physics for dummies and see how that goes. kind of take things slow, then work my way up to time travel and actual physics courses. But I will do it someday, even if it isn't in my degree plan. Just cause I'm usually so good at science. It's a challenge, I guess. I need to eat now.
antidisestablishmentarianism
Amos has been trying to teach her to say that since before she could talk. The other good news is that I'm getting Karppi for History next semester! Yay!! He's like the blessed Pilsbury Doughboy of Social Sciences. I love him! He is the easiest teacher but yet, I still learn stuff. He gives out a review at the beginning of each unit and all you gotta do is find the answers and memorize them. (Yeah I said unit). I've already started reading my book when I'm not in the gym because I thought I was getting Williams and he's not bad, but he's not Karppi either. I thought about trading my Zoology for Physics but I'm too chicken. I hate it that I don't understand things like cosmic strings and that whole movement vantage point thingy. I think I'm going to get Physics for dummies and see how that goes. kind of take things slow, then work my way up to time travel and actual physics courses. But I will do it someday, even if it isn't in my degree plan. Just cause I'm usually so good at science. It's a challenge, I guess. I need to eat now.
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
PB&J on rye
This document contains too much information. Turn back now.
I've been hanging out with republicans.
And they really aren't as bad as I thought they would be.
Sure, they're offensive, narrow minded, rude, ignorant, tiny people
But they're kind of sweet too.
Like dolls.
I just wanted to know why they think homosexuality is a sin. I'd ask them myself, but I was taught to respect other people's beliefs no matter how ass backwards they are. Its part of being an American- respecting people's freedom of religion because they have to respect yours. At least in theory. But I just don't get it. The only time I've ever heard any of these people say outright "homosexuality is a sin" is when they talk about Sodom and Gommorrah. Apparently there was a city that was so full of evil people that God wanted to wipe it out. But one of his sons (that means a really religious guy, not like Jesus) was living there. So He told the guy what He was going to do so he could get himself and his family out of the way. And the guy wanted the city to be spared and eventually the Lord sent down an angel to try to talk to the people of Sodom. Try to get them to repent or something. But they were reeeeal perverted and they tried to rape the angel. And it says that they didn't know their wives. Which means that they'd never slept with them, but that they were all fudge-packers. And this is the tricky part. It says that God punished them for their sins by destroying their city and sending them all to hell. But it never says exactly what their sins were. I always thought that their sin wasn't being gay, but not being gay and yet having all the manonman buttsex anyway. I've read that passage before and that's the way it always looked to me. Like in ancient greece, the guys thought that women were so unworthy that they wouldn't want to screw them except to procreate. So they'd screw each other instead. And that's being perverted.
Because they aren't really gay, they're just horny. All the gay people I've met haven't been any more oversexed than the straight people I've met. They pretty much want the same things. Get married, raise kids, have house n car..etc... and that's not perversion, its life.
I've been attracted to girls since I was about 6 years old. Nothing happened to me to make me that way, I was raised all normal and my mom and dad weren't divorced or any trauma. But I had a huge crush (more like an obsession) on a girl. And I really wanted to do her. Not that I knew what it was, like when little boys hit girls cause they like them. I didn't start liking boys until I was 17. And even now, I'm more physically attracted to women than to men. I just have to think that God must have made me that way. Its not like I chose to be gay at the age of 6. I didn't even know what gay was. I didn't even know what sex was. So, if being gay is a sin and yet God made me that way, then he is one sadistic dude. I know this is kind of a controversial subject and I shouldn't be talking about it, but it really bothers me. And I don't understand. But I am not going to go to the nice Republican pastor and talk to him about it because I know he'd try to convert me and who knows what that would entail. I like the way I am. I like it that women get me hot, and I like it that I'm in love with a great guy with really huge balls and he gets me hot sometimes, too. I'm not exactly bisexual because I'd take sex with a man over sex with a woman anyday, but that's mostly because getting oral is just sooo gross. (And don't say that I just think that because no one's ever done it right, the last three guys said that and I gave them a shot and it still made me queasy. So no licking for me, thanks). So in summation: women are the only ones who make my heart beat fast and get me wet, but men are the only ones I want to screw. As for love, it doesn't really matter. I've loved both and bottom line- people are people, boy or girl, the outside is just a shell anyway.
Now I know I've said too much and probably been a little too personal, but this is my blog and if it offends you, then why are you reading it? And if you have read it, and you have comments, I would really like to see them posted. I'm confuszled and sleepy.
PS I don't care what anyone else thinks, fat-pregnant Britney is waaaayyy hotter than pop princess Britney. Ohh yeah...
I've been hanging out with republicans.
And they really aren't as bad as I thought they would be.
Sure, they're offensive, narrow minded, rude, ignorant, tiny people
But they're kind of sweet too.
Like dolls.
I just wanted to know why they think homosexuality is a sin. I'd ask them myself, but I was taught to respect other people's beliefs no matter how ass backwards they are. Its part of being an American- respecting people's freedom of religion because they have to respect yours. At least in theory. But I just don't get it. The only time I've ever heard any of these people say outright "homosexuality is a sin" is when they talk about Sodom and Gommorrah. Apparently there was a city that was so full of evil people that God wanted to wipe it out. But one of his sons (that means a really religious guy, not like Jesus) was living there. So He told the guy what He was going to do so he could get himself and his family out of the way. And the guy wanted the city to be spared and eventually the Lord sent down an angel to try to talk to the people of Sodom. Try to get them to repent or something. But they were reeeeal perverted and they tried to rape the angel. And it says that they didn't know their wives. Which means that they'd never slept with them, but that they were all fudge-packers. And this is the tricky part. It says that God punished them for their sins by destroying their city and sending them all to hell. But it never says exactly what their sins were. I always thought that their sin wasn't being gay, but not being gay and yet having all the manonman buttsex anyway. I've read that passage before and that's the way it always looked to me. Like in ancient greece, the guys thought that women were so unworthy that they wouldn't want to screw them except to procreate. So they'd screw each other instead. And that's being perverted.
Because they aren't really gay, they're just horny. All the gay people I've met haven't been any more oversexed than the straight people I've met. They pretty much want the same things. Get married, raise kids, have house n car..etc... and that's not perversion, its life.
I've been attracted to girls since I was about 6 years old. Nothing happened to me to make me that way, I was raised all normal and my mom and dad weren't divorced or any trauma. But I had a huge crush (more like an obsession) on a girl. And I really wanted to do her. Not that I knew what it was, like when little boys hit girls cause they like them. I didn't start liking boys until I was 17. And even now, I'm more physically attracted to women than to men. I just have to think that God must have made me that way. Its not like I chose to be gay at the age of 6. I didn't even know what gay was. I didn't even know what sex was. So, if being gay is a sin and yet God made me that way, then he is one sadistic dude. I know this is kind of a controversial subject and I shouldn't be talking about it, but it really bothers me. And I don't understand. But I am not going to go to the nice Republican pastor and talk to him about it because I know he'd try to convert me and who knows what that would entail. I like the way I am. I like it that women get me hot, and I like it that I'm in love with a great guy with really huge balls and he gets me hot sometimes, too. I'm not exactly bisexual because I'd take sex with a man over sex with a woman anyday, but that's mostly because getting oral is just sooo gross. (And don't say that I just think that because no one's ever done it right, the last three guys said that and I gave them a shot and it still made me queasy. So no licking for me, thanks). So in summation: women are the only ones who make my heart beat fast and get me wet, but men are the only ones I want to screw. As for love, it doesn't really matter. I've loved both and bottom line- people are people, boy or girl, the outside is just a shell anyway.
Now I know I've said too much and probably been a little too personal, but this is my blog and if it offends you, then why are you reading it? And if you have read it, and you have comments, I would really like to see them posted. I'm confuszled and sleepy.
PS I don't care what anyone else thinks, fat-pregnant Britney is waaaayyy hotter than pop princess Britney. Ohh yeah...
Monday, July 10, 2006
premature morality
your word for the day: anchoritize.
I have a lovely little mosquito family living in my bedroom. there's a mommy mosquito and a daddy mosquito and a bunch of little baby mosquitoes. isn't that charming? I wake up every morning with dozens of tiny bites all over my limbs and a few on my face, too. I'm beginning to look like I have the pox. I have to do something soon. I'm working on a plan. Shhhhhh.. don't let the little dears know that their dinner is about to bite back. I'm going to use the element of suprise!
I finished zoology with an average of 110. I'm taking another zoology in the fall just cause I liked it so much. It was actually kind of boring. Except for the cutting and tearing of flesh. Luckily, I didn't come to class hungry and have to battle an irrational urge to eat the specimens like what happened in Biology. I'm going to the gym twice today. I did a short workout this morning and then I'm doing a longer one in just a few minutes. I have to wash my gym clothes and towels. They didn't have the fans on this morning so it was very hot and gross. And a bunch of guys keep staring at me. Its getting really creepy. The first time I thought maybe they were just pervy, but it keeps happening and with different guys. I think maybe they want me to look at them, like using their mind power to make me turn around or something. So I could admire their muscular physiques and be all impressed and cream myself. Its not going to happen. Maybe they're just impressed with my ability to sweat profusely. My sudoriferous glands are in the best shape ever!
Sunday, July 9, 2006
Ieeeee
I saw this car yesterday that had some of those little magnetic ribbons on it. One of them said "Support Our Troops" and the other one said "Mothers Against Drunk Driving". If I was a logical robot I would've exploded because its impossible to support the troops and be against drunk driving. Unless you only support the 10 or so soldiers who don't drive drunk. I also saw this little black car almost run into another car because it was trying desperately to race some fancy mustang. John said it wasn't just a mustang, it was a special kind of racing mustang, but I forget exactly what he called it. It was pretty hilarious because the mustang didn't even say "vroom" but the little black car left about half his tires melted to the road and almost got himself stuck in the side of a van. And guess who won... that's right, the mustang. I also saw some idiot on a motorcycle driving down Highway 195 with no helmet, driving in the middle, oily part of the road, going 75. That's nothing remarkable though. The funny part was that he was wearing those motorcycle boots with no laces. They're supposed to be safer, but he also had these jeans on with really frayed edges. That kind of negates any benefit of driving without laces. I think maybe soldiers secretly have a death wish and when they don't get killed overseas they feel disappointed so they do these moronic things like not wearing a helmet, driving drunk, racing, and other motor stunts. Then they get killed and are happy. I wouldn't really mind because most of them are child molesters except that they sometimes take other people along with them. And that isn't fair.
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