distorted

this has to be quick cause i'm steaming cabbage. i'm not dead, as my absence would seem to suggest, just kind of sick. got this really bad cough from hay. and my dog is sick, too, with a completely unrelated really bad cough. he can't bark anymore which is a plus, but still doesn't make me happy. cough syrup all around. john bought a PSP and (feigns surprise) it doesn't work. so i'm taking him to wal-mart tonight to exchange it and get some dental floss. other things brewing, more later.

invalidate me

I watched that movie Corn. It wasn't scary. I was mildly offended but not to the point of being amused. More like the point of being mildly offended and bored. I'm not afraid of corn or sheep, either, and my views on genetic engineering of plants haven't been affected one way or another. The whole thing kind of felt like a docu-drama about the meat-packing industry. The only reason I sat through the entire movie was because Jena Malone was one hot mama with her preggo belly and her tight lil ass... mmmmm. Except her character was kind of crushing on her step-dad. That was bizarre. Well, maybe not so bizarre. Sometimes pregnant chicks get really horny and her step-dad was kind of cute. But the corn wasn't scary.
    I didn't fully recover in my sleep as I had planned. I woke up sore and with really a bad cough as well. Apparently, I'm allergic to mold. But I have been more productive today. I did some quilting and cleaned up a bit, changed the A/C filters, saw Hayley, rode my bike. I'm going out to put flea medicene on the cats and do some Step. Then I'm going to work on making a CD to listen to when I ride my bike. Buffy isn't good enough to keep my heart rate up. I think I have bible study tonight. Yeah, I'm a church girl now. John started going because they helped him quit drinking and I go there to support him. I think he really misses his stripper friends, though. He keeps saying that he wants to go to the Dollhouse. He gets all wistful when he says it like he's only half-joking. So, I guess I need to learn how to strip now. Hey, put your dollar bills away! I only do private shows! and I require a deposit in advance.

lost day

I didn't do anything today. Last night right before I took John home, I slipped on the stairs and fell. It was a pretty bad fall cause I fell in two places; first on my back on the stairs and then on my knees in the mud. It would've been funny if it didn't hurt so much. And I was wearing my good pants. So today my hip was all owie and I didn't do anything. I watched four episodes of Monk and took a bath and then I slept for awhile. Then I took my little brother and his girlfriend to the Hollywood and watched Corpse Bride with them. I didn't like it very much. The songs weren't that good and the plot was kind of predictable. The animation was great, and I guess that was the point. I'm usually over critical of movies though. I think I played with Hayley at some point, too. She keeps saying Happy Mother's Day to everyone. She said it to my mom and dad and her dad and me and Walter. She drew a picture of Mommy for me. It looks just like me if I was made of hair and it was a windy day maybe. She said "Draw a picture of Mommy, say happy mother's day." over and over. I think someone must've said that to her. She gets like a parrot sometimes. Tomorrow I'm going to be much busier. I plan to completely recover tonight in my sleep and wake up and do all kinds of useful things. I'm going to do some yard work and read a few books and go for a jog and potty train Hayley and put flea medicene on the cats and cook a six course meal and train some dogs and wash the car and fix everything and find the secret to never having to sleep again! Then I'm going to watch Sex in the City because I haven't seen it in two weeks and then I'm going to give John a lapdance. I rented this movie called Corn with Jena Malone in it. I think she's way cute. It's about genetically modified corn (hence the title). I hope to find it mildly offensive and absurd, but only to the point of being amused. I'll let you know. 

9 minute blog

its mother's day! yay! i got what every mother wants; a babysitter. i went with john to see mission impossible 3. it didn't seem to matter that i couldn't remember what happened in MI 2 or 1. did i even see 1? i'm not sure. i know i saw 2 because i remember he had to crawl on the outside of a moving vehicle like batman. or maybe that was batman. that really turns me on. crawling on moving vehicles. oh yeah. and SWAT teams. one time i was driving and this SWAT van got in front of me and i followed them real close for a long time cause it was makin me hot. yeah, i was participating in a little autoerotica in my automobile, but it was for the SWAT van! not the ice cream truck. i mean, how often do you actually see one of those just driving around? it was really cool. okay, back to my weekend. i was stuck at my mom's house watching hayley because it was my parents' anniversary. hayley didn't sleep much at all. about four hours a night. that's why my writings a bit disjointed. she gets a nap but i don't because i'm obsessed with exercise. i think i may have formed a dependency on those endorphins. i get all headachey and dizzy feeling when i skip days. i do 6 days a week but i would do 7 days a week and double workouts if my legs didn't get sore so fast. it just isn't fair. what was i saying? oh yeah, it rained last night and the dumb cat woke me up and tried to get me to stop the rain. i have allergies. i'm allergic to mold and my head is full of water. i took some decongestants, but not the good kind. i can't get the good stuff anymore cause some moron "accidentally" OD'd on them and died like a moron. he was at sports camp trying to lose weight by using psuedoephendrines. what an idiot. you use your finger to lose weight! not drugs! i taught hayley how to say "oh crap" by accident because i dropped a library book in a puddle. she gave me all this stuff to hold and it slipped. it was okay. 9 minutes are up. i'm going home

the pony with a magical heinie got stuffed into a silo

I didn't do anything today. I stayed home and read a book and quilted and watched a tape of sex and the city. Okay, I studied a little, but just review. I'm getting all geared up for Vertebrate Zoology in June. I'm so excited to finally be looking at living things again instead of "earth materials and processes". Geology was fun and I didn't hate it but rocks just don't make me moist like the planaria do. Yes, flatworms turn me on a little. Hey, lots of girls get all hot over jewelry, and diamond bracelets can't even react to basic stimuli! Pfft! I went to my mom's house to see if she needed me to take Hayley and no one was there cause they all ran off to the Olive Garden without me. I was sad. Then I ate cookies until I got sick. Then I wasn't so sad anymore, just kind of nauseous. I only had three cookies, but my tolerance for sweets has been reduced. I think it's all the lovely endorphins from my 30 minutes of aerobics 6 days a week. My goal is a full hour. I was trying to do 30 of Step and then 30 on the elliptical trainer, but the stupid elliptical trainer broke. I'm so sad. And my old exercise bike's seat is all messed up so it bruises my ass when I use it. I can fix that myself when I'm done procrastinating. I would do 30 minutes 7 days a week if I could, but my muscles get very very tired. My head gets this funny numb feeling when I skip a day, so I started taking B vitamins. They seem to help, but they make my pee bright yellow-green. I couldn't figure out which B I needed so I got a B complex. I think the one in my pee is the one I don't need.
Hayley walks by herself a lot now, but she falls over a lot, too. We're all so very proud. She says "Hay wat by her-weldt" which means "I want  to walk without assistance". She isn't so great at steering yet so she bumps into stuff sometimes. I think she depends a lot on her momentum to keep her balanced.
I didn't really have anything to say in this blog, and now I have nothing further to add so I guess its over.