choose the least sensible weed

the sickie-saga is still on hold, but while i've been under this illness-enforced house arrest i've just been fuming and stewing away until i feel as red and raw as those smileys. i'm full of hatred and ill will. i've never been very good at being angry; mostly i just cry a lot when i get mad. i'm a pretty gentle person to boot so i don't get angry very often to begin with. but i'm getting fed up and, as they say, my halo is wearing thin. i don't know how much more of this i can take- the not knowing, the endless wrong turns, the being treated like scum by predjudiced medical professionals everywhere just because i'm poor. i need a game plan and i need help. i need real people to come help me. i love you, my internet buddies, and you have done wonderful things for me, but there comes a time when it just isn't enough. i need close physical proximity to a caring human being ASAP. and, if it isn't too much to ask, i need this human being to be angry and outspoken and have some means and power.

so far, this is the best plan i can come up with: i join forces with a central or south american surgeon and, with the help of some lovable rogues, i smuggle the good doctor  and a few hundred pounds of illegal weaponry (bazookas, assault rifles, pocketknives and the like) across the border. once back in the US, we take over a hospital by brute force. then the doctor can bypass the need for a diagnosis and simply remove all my internal reproductive organs. (i know that's where the problem is coming from and if they're gone then i don't really need to know what the problem was. its not like i'm capable of bearing healthy babies anyway.) shortly after i awaken from the anesthesia, the surgeon and the rogues will make a hasty exit back to their home country. i will claim that they kidnapped me and misguidedly stole my ovaries to sell on the black market while i was vacationing and will receive emergency medical care for my wounds and missing hormones. since illegal surgery is an easily diagnosable and treatable condition, the doctors in this country should have no problem getting me back to full health quickly. after that i can get on with my life and i will have the added bonus of having interesting scars and an amusing anecdote to share with whoever will care to listen. "did i ever tell you about the time i was operated on by a competent surgeon?...."