paint thinner and roses

my air conditioner got fixed! that means i can play sims and use my messenger and sleep in my own bed and sing poorly and VERY LOUD! eeeeeee!

i don't feel so great today. my hair's been falling out *again*. it started growing back since i've been using the Nioxin hair restoration system, but it still hasn't gotten back as good as it was. in april a lot of my hair grew back all by itself so, if you hadn't known me before and seen my brilliant, lustrous, beautiful hair then you might have just thought that it was always kind of thin and fragile. it started falling out again in may right when i went into the hospital. seems like it goes in a cycle- fall out, grow back, fall out, grow back, etc... except that it grows back less each time and falls out a little bit more. the Nioxin still seems to be making things better because i'm not losing near as much hair as i have on previous "fall out" cycles, but it still kind of makes me nervous and i hope it switches to "grow back" mode soon. otherwise, i've been having these strange ticklish pains in my belly. like i have a sleeping foot growing in my abdominal cavity... very weird.

because doctors suck (as i think i've established in previous blogs) i've been doing research today at soulcysters.com (the PCOS forum) on alternative treatments and remedies. i'm not really a big natural medicine fan; you'd think i would be because i have such little faith in medical science and the FDA in particular, but i've never believed in taking herbal or mineral supplements and having them produce any real results. i figured i might as well just look and see if there was something not too wacky or difficult i could do that might make some of my suffering bearable. i was amused to find that most of the things on the list of natural remedies were things that i have inexplicabale cravings for already; vitamin B's, licorice, green tea, vinegar (yes, i crave vinegar, you got a problem with that?) and the nice thing about taking herbals is that they generally have no side effects and they treat the disease symptomatically instead of trying to fix the entire syndrome. meaning that these items can be used to treat any endocrine disorder with similar symptoms, not just PCOS. that's great for me because i'm not entirely certain that i have PCOS (and i won't be without extensive and comprehensive testing by a competent professional wizard dog) but i am 100% certain that i have *something* wrong with my endocrine system in general and with my ovarian hormones in paticular.


whatever it is i have appears to be polycystic ovary syndrome, but even that disorder isn't clearly defined or easily diagnosable and there are several different disorders that sometimes present themselves the same.
PCOS seems the best fit at the moment so that's what i'm looking into. if i have a previously unknown disease that mimics PCOS or if i never get properly diagnosed (which seems likely), i think i shall name this disease Trapped On a Log or TOAL. because i feel alone and isolated just as if i were trapped on a log out in the ocean (Viva Variety fans will get the reference, but there aren't many of them seeing as how the show went off the air).