a swarm of apples

those of you who are my friends may have noticed that i've been posting a lot of surverys on the bulletins lately out of sheer boredom. i try to keep my answers interesting, but even the most daring surveys are ultimately monotonous (i don't wish on 11:11, my favorite color is purple, and the shirt i'm wearing is stained with your blood!!!!)so, while i was trying to sleep last night i started thinking up a survey of my own: things i would really want to know about my friends and questions they coud ask their friends. even though you'll probably think i'm a crackpot and that this is a waste of time (but that's the point, isn't it?) here it is:

Survey by me, Brak

1. how do you feel about biological (or "germ") warfare?

2. soldiers being replaced by highly sophisticated robots: good idea or bad idea?

3. if pigs could talk, but weren't any smarter or changed in any other way, do you think people would still eat them?

4. if you could taste human flesh without harming or killing another human being, would you want to?

5. you've decided to become a drifter, but can only carry one backpack with you. what's in it?

6. if you could only say one word for the rest of your life, which word would you prefer?

7. your son is marrying a transsexual. do you try to stop him?

8. could you build your own home? would you?

9. if all books were being banned, which one(s) would you take the time to memorize?

10. you've been hired by a very liberal university. which class(es) are you qualified to teach?

11. if you had to eat something even though you were certain you would vomit it up later, what would you eat?

12. why do you think zombies traditionally don't bother domestic animals?

13. regardless of scientific fact, do you consider white a color?

14. you're getting a new pet. what breed is it and what's its name?

15. if you had to be an evil dictator, which human population would you choose to decimate?

16. if you saw pink elephants dancing the tango, but only when you turned to your left, would you tell anyone?

17. if you had to sell the united states of america to any other country in the world and let their government take over, which country would you choose?

18. if you founded a new nation, who (dead or alive) would you choose to govern it?

19. a magical genie will grant you the ability to play one musical instrument well. which instrument do you choose?

20. if you could bring back one extinct species, which species would it be?

21. if you had to die in a public place, which place would you choose?

22. all else equal, would you rather be friends with a person who had their genitals growing out of their forehead or one who couldn't help speaking every thought that entered their mind?

23. do you think the world would be a better place if everyone suddenly went blind?

24. in your opinion, what is it that separates humans from other animals?

25. if it were discovered that ingesting your own excrement was the secret to eternal youth, how many people do you think would start doing it? would you?

26. you're serving a life sentence for murder and your evil scientist cellmate discovers a way to shrink you permanently down to 8 inches tall so you can escape through the bars. do you take this option?

27. lost in the wilderness for an indeterminate amount of time, would you rather lose your shoes or your sense of hearing?

28. would you try to make a working canoe out of bread if succeeding at this task would bring you instant fortune and fame?

29. do you have any food allergies? if so, to what?

30. how upset would you be if the sky turned magenta?