i wear the cheese, it does not wear me

I had to go to the crappy post office that I hate to fill out a change of address form. I got out of my car all grumpy and noticed this billboard on the far side of the parking lot. It said : ABSTINENCE CHILL its about respect! I began to wonder what that could possibly mean when it hit me.. if you're a girl and a guy just won't leave you alone you can put ice down his pants. It doesn't make much sense, but I like the Abstinence billboard campaign better than the "SEX... it's worth the wait" billboards. That slogan raises the question  Worth the wait until when? 17th birthday, marriage, Prom, the weekend? Or maybe they were trying to discourage people from having sex in public places.. like worth the wait until you get inside. They don't work anyway. There are more pregnant chicks than ever. I guess that's what happens when you introduce a large group of hormonally charged, young males to the local population and still outlaw prostitution. Not that prostitution doesn't happen around here. I used to deliver pizzas on the bad side of town and we have several thriving whorehouses. Problem is, the whores are all butt ugly and diseased-looking and rude! I would like to close my little sex-talk by saying that I think the army should have a whore corps. Our government should specifically hire several hundred young women and put them to work "boosting the troops' morale" as it were. They would have to stay in shape like the soldiers do so they wouldn't look nasty and they could get free medical care so they wouldn't be all diseased. This plan could seriously reduce the number of military-employed sexual predators in our community and keep those Army boys from trying to sneak into the local High Schools to pick up girls. Although, it wouldn't stop the high school girls from trying to lie about their age so they could sleep with a soldier and then get that soldier in trouble with the cops who chase him until he leaps into a dumpster and cries in front of all his friends while they haul his ass to prison (true story), it may reduce the number of guys who are so desperate for lovings that they fall for that trick. In summary: billboards bad, government hookers good.